Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
