how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
my liver is dry heaving
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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