Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
