i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
