I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
