you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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