I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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