:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
