I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
It was confusing and full of hummus
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize