ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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