Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
