i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
