went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
