he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
