New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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