I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
