maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
