There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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