Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
