i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
