I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
