who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
