HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
