If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
