Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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