Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
