who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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