There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
