No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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