But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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