yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
