$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
