Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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