Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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