careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
