I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
