I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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