Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
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