I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I could make wine with my vomit
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
This is my gift to your gina
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
