HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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