Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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