Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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