last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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