she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
