we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
