Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
