ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
