her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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