just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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