I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
